


My Demons

by CharIy



Category: 2P Hetalia - Fandom, Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alfed mentions 'rape' once, Crying, Drama, I can't promise a happy end, I'M SO SORRY MATT, M/M, Tags will be added, but there is no actual rape, i love them, it's still drama tho, this is sad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-21
Updated: 2016-04-21
Packaged: 2018-06-03 16:50:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6618568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CharIy/pseuds/CharIy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You should leave.” Matts voice was nearly a hiss as he crossed his arms. “Wha—What?!”  Now his eyes widened as he heard Matt nearly snapping at him because he had started to cry...Normally the canadian would start to worry about him...normally matt would only hold him closer...Well normally matt wasn't drunk.</p><p> </p><p>This Fanfic is inspired by the Song "My Demons" from Starset</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Demons

It was so sweet and bitter. He savored the taste on his tongue before he swallowed the sinful liquid. This burn in his throat, the way he felt it slowly getting to his head. He savored the way it made him feel careless, maybe happy for once. It was his way to forget everything, to make himself smile and chuckle for once...  
A low chuckle left his lips as his grip got tighter around the bottle in his hand.  
No.  
This wasn't happiness. It was his pathetic way to deal with his problems.  
He wasn't happy. He was pathetic.  
Pathetic like that old man.  
Another chuckle left his lips and he took another great sip. He wasn't happy. Not even a bit...not the slightest.  
„It had been one month now...“ His voice was hoarse, filled with sadness as he felt the tears sting in his eyes again. It had been one month now since their break up and since then the contact between them was totally dead. Not even one message...Not even one call...

And he knew it had been his fault.  
It was his fault for getting drunk...

~...~

“Matt? I'm home!” The voice of a cheerful american echoed through the hallway, shortly after the front door got closed. Hearing the noise of shoes getting kicked of and a jacket quickly falling to the ground, Matt chuckled softly. It was adorable that Alfred was always so happy to see him again.  
Placing his third bottle of wine on the table he waited for Alfred to get finally into his arms. 

“Ah! Ya won't believe me how boring it was today! Seriously paper work sucks!” Alfred told him as he stepped into the room before his eyes verted to the bottles. The smile dropped for a second. “Ah...Ya drank?” The usual cheerful voice changed into a concerned one as he sat down besides Matt. “Got a problem with that?” The canadian grunted as he pulled Alfred into his arms. “Y'know how I think 'bout ya drinking...” 

There it was again. The start of an argument. “Alfred. I won't talk aboot that again.” He growled, closing his eyes in annoyance. His head was already fuzzy from the alcohol as he really didn't wanted to argue. “Yeah. I know.”, was Alfreds simple reply as he snuggled against his boyfriend. He was happy Matt wasn't able to see his face right now because his face was filled with sadness, worry and also the slight hint of fear.

Yes, Alfred was scared of Matt drinking too much. It had led to many arguments...and some fights.  
The worst was the last time when Matt really had lost himself. Alfred hated to remember that one time. It was the worst..he had never felt so bad in his life...The way they had screamed at each other and how they both started to punch each other...But the worst was...

“Alfred?”

The americans thought stopped as he got interrupted by the voice of Matt. “Yeah?”, “Why are you crying?”

“I'm no-” He just noticed now how wet his cheeks were and that he had been crying for the last minutes. “What..haha..I dunno to be honest!” He laughed it off as he sat straight to wipe his tears away. Looking at Matt with a grin, which instantly dropped, he met the expression of worry but what was that...Was Matt annoyed?! “Uh...What's wrong?” Alfred asked a bit confused by the look of annoyance in those purple eyes. “You should leave.” Matts voice was nearly a hiss as he crossed his arms. “Wha—What?!” Now his eyes widened as he heard Matt nearly snapping at him because he had started to cry...Normally the canadian would start to worry about him...normally matt would only hold him closer...Well normally matt wasn't drunk.

“You have heard me! Get your ass outta here if you can't stand me!” His fist clenched as he shot Alfred a glare. He knew why Alfred cried and it pissed him off! “I know what you think! That I'm an asshole! You hate me now huh?! Wouldn't you love to leave me?! Just like anybody else did!” The words just left his mouth as he couldn't keep his temper down. Alfred listened, his eyes squeezing shut as he felt tears forming in them. Normally he would scream at him too, normally he would argue and disagree...Normally he would tell Matt how much he loved him...Normally Alfred wasn't scared.

“I'll leave.” He mumbled, feeling a sharp pain stinging in his chest. Shaking he stood up, keeping his gaze away from Matt. “Yes. Come back when you are done with judging me.” Matts voice was still a snap as Alfred bit down on his lip, feeling the first tears making they way down his cheeks. 

“I won't. I can't stand this...” It was like a whisper as he clenched his fists. “I really do love ya Matt...But -”, “Alfred stop kidding!”, “NO! Listen to me!”  
His head turned as he looked directly into Matts eyes now, seeing the panic rise in the canadian. “I do love ya. But I can't stand it anymore...Ya got carried away too many times! And since the last time it's enough! Ya promised me to change! I'm fine with ya drinking a glass from time to time...But ya promised me to never get carried away LIKE THAT!” His voice rose as he pointed at the bottles on the table. “I'm sick of feeling scared! I'm so sick of it!”  
“Alfred! You don't need to be scared!”

“I don't?! How should I know after what ya have done! And now?! Now ya're yelling at me for crying?! Isn't that more a situation when ya should worry?!?!”

“Alfred it wasn't just my fault!” Now Matts voice got louder as well as he stood up. 

“WHAT?! Are ya blaming me now for ya nearly getting raped by ya 'cause ya forced me?!” Alfred glared at him, feeling pure anger now as he was so close to punch Matt in the face. But he held himself back and simply turned around. “I'm done. I'll leave and I won't come back to ya! Goodbye!” He snapped once before he stormed out, quickly grabbing his shoes and jacket, before he slammed the door close behind him. 

“Alfred!!” Quickly he walked after the American but Alfred was already driving off, leaving Matt behind. 

In that moment the Canadian had finally realized what he had done. His purple eyes widened in shock, feeling the realization stabbing his heart. His body trembled as the tears started to sting in his eyes. In that moment his gaze fell on the bottles, standing on the table. Anger rose again making him grab one of those to throw it against a wall.

And there it was. The sound of shattering glass. It made him flinch, made him cover his ears as he started to whimper...”Please stop. Please stop...” he repeated, shaking roughly. 

_“Matt? Are ya alright?”_

His eyes shot up as he heard that voice, quickly looking around. But he was alone. There was no Alfred...Normally Alfred would have comforted him now...But

_“I'm sick of feeling scared! I'm so sick of it!”_

Of course he was alone...Alfred had just left...

His eyes turned empty as he looked at the shattered bottle...It was just like back than. Just like his childhood...  
But now he was the one throwing bottles and getting carried away with alcohol.. Now he was the one loosing everything...  
Tears rolled down his face as a chuckle left his lips.

“I'm as pathetic as him....”

~...~

**Author's Note:**

> So first chapter done YAY :D  
> I feel so sorry for them but well...drama is my thing!  
> I hope you liked it!  
> And don't worry things will get happier---  
> hopefully.


End file.
